Imagine a world where everyone provided more sincere apologies. Our relationships would be stronger, and there’d be a lot more understanding among people. But often we don’t like giving an apology because our ego gets in the way and apologizing could mean admitting defeat. Or perhaps we are just uncomfortable saying “sorry.” I like to think of myself as someone … Read More
6 Sources of Conflict at Work
I love optical illusions. It’s fascinating to watch an image shift from one thing to another, depending on your perspective. Optical illusions use colour, light, and patterns to mislead our brains into creating an image that does not match the image in front of us. Workplace conflict can sometimes be like an optical illusion, where what we see is not … Read More
How Conflict Escalates & Strategies to Prevent Disaster
Conflict is so predictable, and I believe that is what scares us most about it. We have seen conflict quickly develop into an ugly mess. We see this in the media, and we have probably experienced it in our personal lives as well. The good news is that conflict doesn’t always have to escalate negatively. When we understand how it … Read More
Find the Hidden Source of Conflict
In my consulting work, I regularly help organizations with issues of conflict. In a recent workplace mediation, I saw firsthand how easy it is to misdiagnose the source of conflict. The situation was explained to me as an interpersonal dispute between two employees. One had criticized the other for an error in their work, and the conversation quickly became heated. … Read More
5 Principles for Talking Politics with Friends and Family
How do you engage in political discussions with those you care about? For many, the answer is “I don’t!” Others engage eagerly in these discussions, but find themselves repeatedly caught in the muck of destructive conflict. There is another way – one that allows for respectful discourse and even strengthened relationships. In 2007, I was invited to participate in a … Read More
How to Talk About the Elephant in the Room
I’ve facilitated a fair number of high-stakes conversations over the years and am always struck when organizations ask me to lead a discussion about the elephant in the room. Rather than needing help with a conflict or to identify specific problems, they are simply asking me to start a conversation about a problem they are all aware of but can’t … Read More
How to Bring Reason Back Into Conversations
We often allow our predetermined beliefs to guide how we relate to other people. Look no further than politicians who speak about each other or groups they disagree with, using negative and, at times, highly charged rhetoric. I don’t know about you, but I find some despair and anxiety seeping into my psyche every time I read about, witness, or … Read More
How to Practice Constructive Dialogue
In this time of protests, riots, political divide, and COVID-19 related stress, we are likely to find ourselves having difficult conversations with people who disagree with our views on these global and life-changing events. How can we avoid the pitfalls that take us from open dialogue into dispute? When opening a workshop, I start by saying, “The best learning we … Read More
How to Handle Conflict in Relationships
FACT: Spending more time in conflict can IMPROVE your personal and professional relationships. Throughout my work as both a family counsellor and business consultant, I have noticed a common theme emerge that can significantly undermine both personal and professional wellness: conflict. Interestingly, conflict itself is generally not the primary presenting issue. Rather, issues arise with the actions or inactions taken … Read More
How to De-escalate Conflict
How does it feel when you are wrong? What about when you make a poor decision or forget an important detail? Have you ever made an assumption that incorrectly coloured how you saw a person? How did it feel to realize this? I have been asking these questions of my friends, family, and coworkers, and their answers often include words … Read More
