I love optical illusions. It’s fascinating to watch an image shift from one thing to another, depending on your perspective. Optical illusions use colour, light, and patterns to mislead our brains into creating an image that does not match the image in front of us. Workplace conflict can sometimes be like an optical illusion, where what we see is not … Read More

FACT: Spending more time in conflict can IMPROVE your personal and professional relationships. Throughout my work as both a family counsellor and business consultant, I have noticed a common theme emerge that can significantly undermine both personal and professional wellness: conflict. Interestingly, conflict itself is generally not the primary presenting issue. Rather, issues arise with the actions or inactions taken … Read More

How does it feel when you are wrong? What about when you make a poor decision or forget an important detail? Have you ever made an assumption that incorrectly coloured how you saw a person? How did it feel to realize this? I have been asking these questions of my friends, family, and coworkers, and their answers often include words … Read More

For any number of reasons, you might find yourself facing the challenging prospect of having a difficult conversation. Speaking a hard truth to someone or delivering difficult news is never easy. Through my experience as a school board superintendent, I have learned that being prepared and having a strategy is far better than the “just do it” approach. Consider the … Read More

How do you react when someone is disrespectful towards you at work? It’s easy to get caught in a cycle of disrespect because our natural inclination is to respond aggressively or defensively. This is because human beings tend to mirror each other. But with negative behaviours like disrespect, we often go a step further and escalate the situation. For example: … Read More

­­­When stakes are high and your performance matters most, you and your team will likely get stressed. But how will you treat each other? Will you all take a deep breath, make sure communication is respectful and straightforward, and motivate each other by using language that acknowledges that you’re all in it together? Or, will you become short with each … Read More

Over the years I’ve facilitated a fair number of high-stakes conversations, and I’ve always been struck by how often people say, “You can help us by leading a discussion about the elephant in the room.” In one case, the “elephant” was worth tens of millions of dollars a year and affected the livelihood of many employees. People wanted to know … Read More

People are porous—we absorb the feelings and attitudes around us. Things we often conceive of as individual and personal, such as emotions, are actually highly dependent on the people we are surrounded by. Merely watching someone engage in an action causes us to consciously or unconsciously mimic that behaviour. The simple expression of a frown or smile can cause us … Read More

I was recently asked by a workshop participant if I thought it was okay to make Conflict Resolution Skills training mandatory for everyone at their organization. My simple answer was, “Yes, I think that is a good idea.” However, that answer really needed to be more nuanced because it implies some other questions such as: • Is there a benefit … Read More

Conflict is so predictable, and I believe that is what scares us most about it. We have seen conflict quickly develop into an ugly mess. We see this in the media, and we have probably experienced it in our personal lives as well. The good news is that conflict doesn’t always have to escalate negatively. When we understand how it … Read More