How do you define yourself?
Often the start of a new year encourages us to reflect on the triumphs and struggles that have helped define us. Although this practice can help us create meaning from our experiences and show us what we can do to be happier in the future, many of us are left without answers.
Could our lack of answers have to do with the ratio of our happiness and success to our accomplishments and potential? Many of us feel we are not living up to our fullest potential; as though we are capable of doing so much more but are unsure how to tap into our true potential. To get there, let’s look at leveraging our own inner strength and one of the most powerful human behaviours to practice: resiliency.
Our ability to showcase resiliency really comes down to how we define ourselves – how we believe in ourselves.
Resiliency is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. It is our ability to spring back from adversity. Therefore, by definition, resiliency requires us to have failed; without failing we are unable to demonstrate our ability to recover. Maybe some failures do have a silver lining we can learn from and ultimately become stronger and more knowledgeable than we were before.
How do you rate yourself when it comes to being resilient? Start by asking yourself the following five questions:
- Am optimistic?
- Am I adaptable?
- Do I have self-control?
- Am I self-sufficient?
- Am I persistent?
A daily routine that includes practicing optimism, adaptability, self-control, self-sufficiency, and persistence can instantly strengthen your character and increase your resiliency. These are often considered the top attributes when it comes to demonstrating resiliency. If you or someone you know struggles with any of these attributes, consider this four-step process to becoming your best and most resilient self:
Step 1: Personal wellness
Many of us have heard the old saying: “Before we can help others, we need to help ourselves.” I believe that helping ourselves should start with knowing and understanding who we are. Creating a well-rounded daily routine that sets us up for success is a great starting point. Try following the two B’s and two P’s philosophy: Body, Brain, Purpose, and Passion. Dedicating just 20 minutes per day on Body (food and exercise), Brain (learning and goal setting), Purpose (values and beliefs), and Passion (the areas of life that excite us) may help you feel more energized and engaged in your day’s work.
Step 2: Goals
Research tells us that the average person has between 50,000–80,000 thoughts per day and can spend up to 90 percent of their day in their subconscious mind! With this knowledge, it is no surprise that we sometimes lose sight of our life’s purpose and goals. Setting daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly goals for ourselves can remind us of our purpose and give us something to work towards.
A daily routine that includes practicing optimism, adaptability, self-control, self-sufficiency, and persistence can instantly strengthen your character and increase your resiliency.
Step 3: Collaboration
As Fred Rogers once said: “If it’s mentionable, it’s manageable.” Interpret this as a reminder to communicate with one another. Discussing ideas, plans, and solutions with those we trust can boost our creative spirit and potentially bring us closer to the answers we are searching for. We do not need to feel alone in our quest and sometimes just talking it through can provide us with peace of mind. We may not find immediate answers, but we will be reminded that someone is there to listen.
Step 4: Persistence
We need not move mountains overnight. Our pursuits can – and maybe should – take time to achieve. Throughout the process, we have an opportunity to practice patience and learn from the journey. Some doors will close, but others will open. Assuming we maintain our focus on the goals we have set, we can allow our inner resilience to shine. Recent studies are now telling us that on average it can take between 65 and 70 days to learn a new habit or change an existing behaviour. Don’t give up.
Our ability to showcase resiliency really comes down to how we define ourselves – how we believe in ourselves. Remembering to keep these five attributes of resiliency at the forefront of our minds, especially during times of adversity, can help us stay true to our ourselves. And maybe if we allow ourselves to do this, we will realize that we don’t necessarily find happiness – we make it. We also don’t find success – we make it. Use your secret ingredient to help you: resiliency.
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